rambling.

I'm not going to lie...it's not easy being a working mama. I have said it before, and I'm sure I'll say it again, "My mom is amazing." I am so much more aware now of the sacrifices my mom made for us. She always worked a full time, get up at 4am, not loving the work but needing the money kind of job. I am thankful that my reality is different. I am thankful to work a job I love, in a position I feel called to, with people I adore. I am thankful that my hubby and baby are with me for 2 of my 5 work days, and that I get to have lunch at home with Micah every day.

Even still, there are days when it's just plain hard. Take Friday for example...my little man woke up from all of his naps with both hand in his mouth screaming. He was clearly in pain and nothing (and i mean NOTHING) was helping. So we cuddled, rocked, and sang our way through the day and I tried to get things ready for the ONE preschool event I have! Of course it had to coincide with Micah's worst day of teething thus far. When it was time to pack him up to go set up for our event, I was in tears. I felt like the worst mama. What kind of mom packs up her kid when he's crying and in pain?! My mom was working, and Alex was also at work so I was on my own. We loaded up, and God definitely heard my prayers. Little Man loves to be close to his mama so I put him on my back in my rented Beco Gemini and went to work.

(here's micah passed out on my back)

He ended up doing amazingly well. My little guy always pulls through...he's a champ. God definitely answered my prayers because my mama guilt was running deep that night, and I don't know if I would have made it through the night without a meltdown (of my own) if my boy had a rough night.

All of this back story to simply say this :: being a mama has taught me more about dependence than I ever thought it would. I am remembering to consult "first in charge" about EVERYTHING (that's a little Spiritual Parenting shout out :) )I am so thankful that I don't have to do this alone. I am thankful that I know that my God created me to be Micah's mama, and that my King has called me to this team that I am privileged to be a part of. I know that I will never be forsaken, and that each day goes according to His perfect plan. I am exactly where I am supposed to be and I will just pray that whenever something needs to change or shift, I will be so in tune with first in charge that I will know where and how to follow Him.

(this post might not make any sense to anyone but me, but i needed to type it out even if just for me :))